The other day, I told my friend that I used to be shy and she was dumbfounded. "You, shy? You're joking right?" No, definitely not joking. A lot of people have told me that they think that I am a confident person. I'm glad that they see me as a confident person because it seriously took a lot to be where I am today!
Everyone has issues in their life that affects their self-esteem. Mine definitely had a huge impact on me from around age 11 and I became shy and afraid of what other people might think of me if they knew who I really was. At such a young age, it's hard to think anything else.
I got to about 14 and I was still pretty shy, didn't really talk out loud to other people much, and then I became friends with some of the louder girls at church. They were so much fun! I had wanted to be friends with them for so long because I just thought they were the coolest people ever. Without them knowing it, they influenced me so much and helped to break me out of that shell that I had forced my bubbly personality into.
Slowly but surely, by age 17, I finally realized that I didn't even care that much anymore. I'd love to say that I didn't care at all, but anyone who says that is definitely lying. I pretty much tripled the amount of friends I had just because I felt better about who I was as a person. The last three years of high school were amazing but I still had so much to do to fully grow into the confident person I am today.
First year of college happened. 2000 miles away from home, so many new people, completely new terrain and humor and everything that I had grown comfortable with. I became that shy person again for the first 2 months of college and I hated it! I felt like I was back in middle school somewhat. I was afraid to talk to people or make a fool of myself.
Then finally, I met some people who I became really great friends with and I broke out of my shell again. Why was I so afraid to talk to other people? Why was it a big deal? The answer is that it wasn't a big deal. I let my self-esteem get the best of me and make me think that I was too awkward or too loud to make friends and have fun.
That doesn't even make sense! Half of my humor is how awkward I am and the other half is how loud I am! When I finally realized that, I just wanted to have fun and make a bunch of friends. So now, in my second year of college I can finally say that I am happy with who I am. I love my personality, I love that I am loud, and I love that I can make people laugh.
Because of all of this, I am proud to have had a long journey to get to where I am. I'm comfortable in who I am, what I do, and how I act. And of course there will always be someone who doesn't like you but if they don't like you, then who cares? Because I sure don't.
So here's my last piece of advice to everyone: confidence isn't being loud or funny; confidence is being true to who you are and realizing that the only way to be confident is to be happy.
:)
