So I randomly thought about this topic tonight of how guys are always supposed to make the first move on girls. I guess I don't really agree with this idea. I've never been one to sit around and hopelessly wait for some "Prince Charming" because I don't like feeling like I have to rely on someone else to be happy.** I'm a pretty independent girl (at least compared to some of the girls I've met) so I've never felt like I need to have someone right here, right now put the moves on me and make me feel special. I encountered a girl out at school say, "Never be the girl who asks the guy out or talks to him first, it makes you look bad." And in my head I was seriously basically just like, "Uhh what! Why would that make you look so bad?"
I guess I understand where girls think that if they were the one that started the conversation or asked him out that it will make them look "desperate" or something along those lines. But I think that a girl who can do those things has, for lack of a better term, some serious balls! A girl who isn't just waiting around, dropping really not so subtle hints that they like the guy. I guess you could classify them as a type of "damsel in distress", the distress being that the so-called "Prince" is being an idiot.
It always confused me when someone tells me that they like someone but they haven't really tried too hard to actually do something about it. I don't know, I've actually put myself out there before on different occasions just to see what happens and yeah, it sucks to not have what you want to happen actually happen. But I heard this awesome quote the other day, "If you never ask, the answer will always be no." That is so accurate! If you never put yourself out there, you'll always wonder! Wouldn't you rather be the person to just cut the crap and say, "hey, so here's what's up: I like you"?! I would rather be that person than the person who was too scared of rejection to actually put thoughts into actions.
A lot of girls I knew in high school never wanted to be the ones to ask guys to dances and stuff like that, which I can appreciate for sure! Of course it is always nice to have someone ask you and want to go with you. But if it's been like weeks and still no one's asked you to go, wouldn't you just rather man up, rub some dirt on it, and ask someone? It just boggles my mind when someone is like, "I'm not going to (insert event here) because I don't have a date." Well, you could have a date. Just sayin'.
I was never really afraid of asking a guy friend out to a dance. Of course, let's definitely emphasize the FRIEND part. But being Mormon in a mostly non-Mormon high school really doesn't give me many decent options for a non-friend date. But I made due and I honestly can say that I had some of my best high school memories at my school dances because I had made the decision to ask an awesome guy to come with me!
So my final advice for girls is this: You'll never know until you try and if you never ask, the answer will always be no. Don't be afraid to just go for it! You seriously will never know what can happen until you do :)
And for guys: Don't be freaked out if the girl makes the first move. Obviously, if she makes the first move, then she freaking LIKES YOU. Don't confuse it with anything else. If she makes an effort to talk to you and/or hang out with you, then she likes you. And you should be flattered! (If you're interested in them back that is. If not, eh. hahahaha just kidding. Don't lead them on, it's not cool.)
Okay, I think I got most of my feelings about this topic out. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY. <3
**Of course I'm ultimately looking for someone to be happy with, but having them in my life right at this moment does not determine if I'm happy or not.
NOTE: I'm not saying even in the slightest that guys shouldn't be making the first move. But girls, if the guy is being stupid, then seriously just cowboy (cowgirl?) up and do it yourself. Don't just sit idly by and wonder because you're wasting your own time. Okay, now I'm really done.
